Information or intrusion? Child arrangement letters for summer holidays
Planning to go abroad with your children this summer? Ensure your ex-spouse / ex-partner expressly agrees to it with a signed child agreement letter.
Information or intrusion? Child arrangement letters for summer holidays
LGFL Director Rita Gupta explains why a child arrangement letter is both desirable and necessary for divorced and separated parents taking their children on holiday this summer.
- Divorced or separated with children?
- Planning a summer holiday for you and the kids?
- Have you obtained their co-parent’s permission?
If you are a divorced or separated parent planning to go abroad with your children this summer, you need to ensure your ex-spouse / ex-partner expressly agrees to it.
- If you have a Child Arrangement Order (CAO) that states that the children live with you, you can take them abroad without permission for up to 28 days unless the CAO expressly forbids this.
- If you do not have a CAO, you need to seek permission for any trip abroad, regardless of duration.
Co-parenting and control
Summer holiday plans can often turn into a bone of contention between co-parents, and emotions can run high. Your co-parent may feel they cannot afford the kind of holiday you are planning, for example, and be awkward about it through jealousy. They may also consider that a long holiday denies them the usual contact and time they enjoy with the children.
We also see cases where the co-parent tries to control holiday plans by being over-demanding or obstructive. They may, for example, say that they don’t want their children to go on a particular type of holiday, or to certain destinations. They may also insist on a daily itinerary, or withhold permission for specific activities, such as rock climbing.
They can also delay giving permission, saying they ‘need to be flexible’ or similar, so that the other parent cannot book the best deals and has to change details, which again delays things. At best, this kind of obstruction is fuelled by petty jealousy; at worst, it is potentially post separation abuse through coercive control. As a result, some parents have had to resort to the courts for a Specific Issue Order to resolve the issue.
In my experience, I have seen these attempts at control taken to ridiculous lengths, with those with shared parental responsibility denying permission for holidays to Disneyland and Lapland to see Santa. This is unlikely to go down well with the courts, whose primary focus is the welfare of the child.
Child arrangement letters by family lawyers
It needn’t be this way. A child arrangement letter can be drawn up by a family lawyer such as ourselves, containing all the pertinent details and without being intrusive. Any child arrangement letter needs to be agreed to and signed by anyone with shared parental responsibility to give their explicit written consent. This entails that all parties are clear on the arrangements.
Holiday arrangement letters should include these important details:
- The full names and contact details of both parents.
- The full name and date of birth of the child/children.
- Dates of departure and return including flight numbers if applicable.
- Destination(s) and accommodation details.
- Confirmation that the consenting parent agrees to the child travelling.
- Emergency contact information for the travelling parent during the trip.
- Proof and policy number of travel insurance (optional)
It should also include a remit of whether the child will communicate with the other parent whilst away. This should not be too intrusive, but also allow the child to maintain the bond with the non-holidaying parent.
Some parents may like to see the names of all persons travelling with the child. It can be very important for a co-parent to know who is around their children, whether close family or not. However, not liking your ex mother in law is no reason to deny the children the chance to holiday with their grandmother, for example.
In our view, a detailed daily itinerary is excessive and not required. After all, the person going on holiday still has legal parental responsibility, and that doesn’t stop just because they are on a beach in the sunshine. Neither should the non-holidaying co-parent insist on a daily video call or other ways of ‘checking up’ what the children (and their ex) are doing.
Who holds the passports?
Passports can also be a contentious issue, with one parent holding them for the children and the other requiring them for the holiday. This can be covered by a clause in the agreement letter that states that the holidaying parent has temporary possession of the passports until their return to the UK. It should also state when they will be handed back.
More importantly, the holidaying parent should check if the children’s passports and their own are valid. People are still being caught out by requirements for European destinations if their passport is over ten years old.
As the Post Office website explains:
“Passports issued after 2018 are valid for exactly 10 years. But if your passport was issued before September 2018, it might be valid for up to 10 years and nine months. This is because, before 2018, the passport office would add up to nine extra months from your old passport to your new one … To travel to Europe and Schengen countries, your passport must be:
• Issued less than 10 years before your departure date
• Valid for at least three months after your planned return date. (1)”
The news has been full of people with these ‘extended’ passport being turned away at check-in for European holidays and even escorted out of the airport. (2)
For holidays in other countries, including Australia, Thailand and India, your passport must be valid for at least six months from the date you arrive in the country. Other countries such as the USA require your passport to only be valid for your entire stay, but six months’ extra is strongly advised.
Also bear in mind the age of your children and the expiry date of their passports. A child passport is only valid for 5 years. Also, if your child is aged over 16, they will need to apply for an adult passport before they travel. The passport office are estimating a three week turnaround for new and renewed passports (at time of writing) but this timescale can fluctuate as demand increases before key holiday periods. More details at the gov.uk website https://www.gov.uk/get-a-child-passport. (3)
Child arrangement letters from LGFL
A child arrangement letter can save you time, stress and potential conflict with your co-parent, so you and the kids can go on holiday and actually enjoy it! Signed child arrangement agreements can be shown to border staff if needed, for added reassurance.
If you do not wish a formal letter, we can guide you on the details to provide to the other parent and ensure that permission is granted.
Contact us to draw up your child arrangement letter before the summer holidays start:
About the author
Rita Gupta is Co-founder and Managing Director of family law firm LGFL Ltd, serving family law for clients in the Reading and Thames Valley area, across the UK and for international clients involved in UK divorce cases. She has featured as a family law expert on national TV and radio, including BBC Radio 5 Live with Nicky Campbell, LBC, GB News with Darren McCaffrey and local TV and radio.