Life after separation: how to keep a healthy headspace in your new world

As part of Mental Health Awareness week and in keeping with LGFL’s holistic approach to family law, we continue to highlight important issues facing those that are separating.

In this collaborative article with registered RTT therapist Emma Buckell, LGFL Director Rita Gupta discusses the importance of addressing the emotional elements of separation, and how Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help.


Support when it’s most needed

Being able to access support in these days of lockdown and the remote world of the future has never been so important. It is vital that this invaluable support isn’t too time-restrictive, and can be delivered effectively online rather than in person. We asked Emma how RTT can help in these circumstance.

“Initially, you might find your thoughts are tied up in legal proceedings or finalising financial arrangements. However, the emotional impact of untying the bond with a partner doesn’t just go away once the documents are filed. Life as you know it has changed, and you have to find your new normal. This can leave you feeling raw and vulnerable.”

Emma says that many clients have conflicting thoughts and feelings. On one hand, they are thinking they should be happy and ready for their next chapter. On the inside, however, they are wondering:

  • What happened?
  • How did I end up here?
  • This wasn't the plan…how did I get so far off course?
  • What about my kids?
  • What about the friends that we share?
  • I feel so embarrassed and ashamed
  • I’ve let myself down, I’ve let the kids down

These are the real life human emotions that arise from a family separation process and the accompanying grief many feel.

Moving onwards

So how can clients move past this? Emma advises you to think of yourself:

“One thing to remember is that all important “I”. You are living your own life whether with, or without, a significant other. So that question of “Can I get through this?” is key. The focus is now on you to take this as an opportunity to reset the beliefs you have about yourself. Then the answer to that question becomes “I can and … I am.

If you have the right tools, you can tap into your inner coping skills to be a stronger and happier person. We all have down days, and it’s crucial to shut down any detrimental self-talk during these times. RTT enables you to erase the negative pictures that you make in your head and replace them with positive statements and happy images of how you want your life to be. The more you do this, the more you'll like it and the easier it will become."


Thoughts, feelings actions

Marisa Peer, founder of RTT, said that “Thoughts control feelings, feelings control actions, actions control events.” So, by changing your thoughts, you can affect real-world outcomes.

Change through modern therapy

The regimented structure of some traditional psychological methods might not be for everyone, especially for people with busy lives. Just as technology has moved on in the last decade, so has society’s approach to helping people. RTT is now recognised as one of the most successful methods for bringing about permanent changes. Emma says that often only one session is needed to put you back in control of your own happiness and life choices.

“The focus of RTT is on identifying the root of the issues that are hiding in your subconscious. You might not actually realise that there are underlying issues affecting your ability to manage your emotions in challenging situations. Your self-interpretation or beliefs could be dragged down, resulting in negative thoughts. With RTT’s multi award-winning therapy, these beliefs are reframed into a positive and energised mindset.”


RTT and other therapies

RTT’s success lies in its foundations of the combined principles of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, NLP and CBT. RTT unlocks the subconscious and reprograms your mind so that your reactions to hurt, trauma or rejection are permanently changed for the better. RTT enables a person’s coping mechanisms for feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem to be permanently modified and replaced by a more positive approach and mindset.


How RTT can help family law clients

Rita Gupta believes that for many busy working clients, or those with childcare commitments, RTT can offer invaluable support when most needed. It is easily accessible too, which is important during an otherwise hectic time.

There are also other benefits too, as Rita explains:

“Obtaining therapy can actually help reduce your legal costs as you are not looking to your lawyer to counsel you through the process. It can also help you with measured decision making and focus during a process that inevitably involves high levels of emotion.”


Take the time

As Emma says:

“Remember, there is only strength shown in taking the time to get to the very root of your issues to generate happiness and wellbeing.”


Emma Buckell is a registered RTT therapist and the founder of the Cleanse My Mind clinic in London.

For more information on the benefits of RTT healing, please contact emma@cleansemymind.co.uk or call the clinic on 07956 115 384.