New Year, New You: a fresh start for 2020
The New Year is an opportunity to take a long look at your life, and address key elements you might want to improve on such as fitness, finances, work - and relationships.
Making New Year resolutions is a way to goal-set for your future. The best goals are SMART - specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely. They also need to be in the first person, present tense so that when you read it, it is as if your goal is already happening. This helps create a disparity between your current situation and the goal, driving you to work to match goal and reality.
For example, you might set the goal “I want to lose weight.” This is too vague. You need to nail down the details:
- Specific - I am slimming down to…
- Measure - a stone lighter…
- Achievable - at Weight Watchers…
- Relevant - to get into my size 14 jeans…
- Timely - by my birthday party in March
Relationships goal setting
Goal setting for lifestyle changes is relatively straightforward, but what about your relationship or marriage? A start is to ask one simple question, “Am I happy?” If the answer is no, you need to goal set to change that situation.
As family lawyers, we know how hard that can be. According to James Clear, writer on habits and human potential:
“The real challenge is not determining if you want the result, but if you are willing to accept the sacrifices required to achieve your goal… It's easy to sit around and think what we could do or what we'd like to do. It is an entirely different thing to accept the tradeoffs that come with our goals.”
The challenge of Christmas
The Christmas holidays inevitably place already strained relationships under more stress. Suddenly, you are with your partner 24/7, not on a relaxing beach but at home with rain lashing down, bored kids and the in-laws overstaying their welcome.
Even in the times when it’s just the two of you, the effect of tiredness, excess alcohol and having overspent may bring deep-seated resentments in your relationship rising to the surface. As a result, there may be things said or done that confirm that you do need to separate, for your own happiness and that of your family.
Many couples feel they need to stay together until after New Year for the sake of the family, or the kids. Once the decorations are down, then work restarts, spring terms begins, and time marches on. Suddenly it’s Valentine’s Day, and no action has been taken.
If you want to go your separate ways as your relationship has run its course, the best time to act is now. You may know deep down that your marriage is over. Choosing to separate is never easy, but moving forward with your divorce will make all the difference between feeling trapped and stressed, or looking forward to a fresh start.
Taking that first step
The first step to a New You is to get professional legal advice so you can move forward with confidence. Every divorce or separation is different, so at LGFL, we offer a free 30-minute consultation** to discuss your unique situation. You can meet with one of our Directors face to face in our discreet countryside offices or in central Reading.
Simply click to apply for a free consultation and take that first step. We know it might be difficult, but it will give you the incentive to move forward to your goal of a fresh start and a new life for your and your family in 2020.