More than one rollercoaster: how the emotions of divorce influence your friends, work and future
In this second article, Rita explains more about how the emotions invoked during your divorce might impact on extended family, friends, work colleagues – and into your future relationships.
Your emotional support networks
It’s often said that you don’t know who your true friends are until there is a problem. You’ll soon find out who is a fair-weather friend, and who will offer genuine support. You will also need the support of your family, whether a sympathetic ear or practical help with childcare. Friends and family can rally round so you have time to process, adapt and deal with your emotions.
Remember, as your lawyers, we are not your counsellors, your friends or in your social media circle. We are empathetic professionals, who will fight your corner and give strategic advice to ensure the best possible outcome.
Divorce and work
Your separation and divorce will have an impact on your work. There may be days where the demands of the divorce process and your work will meet head on. You may be more stressed, less productive or just plain tired.
Your first option could be to discuss this with your line manager. Modern companies with a policy on employee mental health and wellbeing will need to listen and put in support mechanisms. Your company may also offer professional support for stress as part of your employee benefits.
Making that first approach is usually better than a manager calling you in to discuss a change in performance or absences noted. Your employers don’t need the details: this isn’t about garnering their sympathy.
Planning for the future
Planning for life after separation is considerably harder for some than others. You may have never anticipated your life panning out this way. On your emotional rollercoaster, you may just see steep hills to climb, such as finances, child arrangements, and perhaps the prospect of living on your own for the first time in decades. In reality, there are sections that are a much easier ride, and take your forward to a different life post-separation.
Two rollercoasters
Your ex-spouse will have their own rollercoaster to ride too. There will be inevitable surges in emotions from them that will affect you, often triggered by mutual key life events such as birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, weddings, christenings, and funerals. Recognising their potential emotional ups and downs and dealing with them should help you stay on track for your own post-divorce future.
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