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Director Rita Gupta was recently asked by the BBC World Service about an issue that comes up time and time again in divorce cases - snoring.

As a family lawyer known for her holistic approach, Rita was able to add to the BBC's research on how snoring affects relationships:

 

"Rita Gupta, a family lawyer from the UK, said her firm has encountered numerous divorce cases linked to snoring.

"It's definitely come up a lot as a reason for unhappiness in the marriage," she told the BBC.

"I've had lots of people saying, 'Well, we've been sleeping in separate rooms for several years because of his snoring anyway, and we've just drifted apart,'" she added.

The family lawyer said that a common issue in divorce cases is neglecting medical treatments and not taking necessary steps to deal with the issue effectively, indicating underlying commitment issues.

"For example, it is a case against a man, and his wife is saying, 'He's already badly snoring. It's really impacting my sleep. He hasn't taken any steps to address it.'"

 

The article explored how untreated snoring not only impacts the physical and mental health of the snorer but also affects their partner and their ability to get a good night's sleep. It was published on the BBC's websites and social feed for World Sleep Day, and translated 18 different languages including Hindi, Urdu, Swahili and Thai!

Here's the full list of where the article appeared, a truly global reach for our boutique Reading law firm!

 

BBC WEBSITES

BBC Hindi: readin in Hindi

BBC Brasil: read in Portuguese

BBC Mundo: read in Mundo

BBC Arabic: read in Arabic

BBC Turkish: read in Turkish

BBC Punjabi: read in Punjabi

BBC Tamil: read in Tamil

BBC Urdu: read in Urdu

BBC Telugu: read in Telugu

BBC Marathi: read in Marathi

BBC Serbian: read in Serbian

BBC Tigrinya: read in Tigrinya

BBC Swahili: read in Swahili

BBC Hausa: read in Hausa

BBC Ukrainian: read in Ukrainian

BBC Afrique: read in Afrique

BBC Thai: read in Thai

BBC Amharic: read in Amharic

 

BBC SOCIAL MEDIA

Hindi:

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Brasil:

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Mundo:

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Arabic:

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Punjabi:

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Tamil:

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Urdu:

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Telugu:

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Marathi:

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Serbian:

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Tigrinya:

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Ukrainian:

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Afrique:

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Thai:

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Urdu:

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Swahili:

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Dari Insta:

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In the first article in our innovative series, we looked at how the upheaval of divorce could have a major impact on our diet and in turn, on our emotional state and mental health.

In this second article, LGFL Director Rita Gupta and Kay Kaur.dipNT, mBANT, mCNHC, a Registered Nutritionist & Health Coach discuss the major disruption divorce can cause to our physical wellbeing, and seven practical ways to reduce that impact.

 

1. Regular Exercise

Exercise isn’t just great for your stamina. Science has shown it can be as effective as an anti-depressant alongside a whole food diet. It’s incredibly important for your mental health too, as exercising releases endorphins, helping you manage stress and anxiety.

Rita says: I am very aware that as a busy family lawyer, my clients are relying on me for advice, support and to achieve the best outcomes in divorce for them, their children and their future. I find that lunchtime walks assist me and the team to switch off and reset so I am much better placed to help my clients.

 

2. Quality Sleep

Stressful periods can disrupt your sleep. Establishing a restful environment and a consistent bedtime routine is crucial for your mental health. Sleep hygiene is a great way help induce good quality sleep. Avoid blue light from phones and gadgets in the evening. Essential oils like lavender can help you to fall asleep easier; apply two or three drops to your pillowcase to help you drift off to sleep. You can also dab them on your wrists or on the temples of your head.

A soak in a bath can help you to relax. I personally recommend adding a few handfuls of magnesium bath salts, as magnesium really is nature’s tranquilliser.

Rita says: Sleep deprivation can seriously affect our judgement the next day. Sustained lack of sleep can leave you over-tired, emotional and with low energy levels. It’s important to take time to gently wind down, and not get wound up by any late-night posts. Nothing is so urgent in a non-abusive divorce that it cannot wait until the morning. I am always concerned when clients are reading complex documents relating to their case and providing instructions late or in the middle of the night.

 

3. The Gut-Brain Connection

A healthy gut contributes to better mental health. Incorporating probiotics (good bacteria) and prebiotics can support your gut health, which in turn aids your emotional wellbeing. Fermented foods like Greek yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut and fermented tofu are great options. Onions, garlic, leeks, asparagus, bananas are great prebiotics which feed the probiotics.

Rita says: Research is increasingly discovering the link between gut health and mental health. For more information, see the work of Dr Tim Spector at ZOE.

 

 

 

4. Stress Reduction Techniques

Practices like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing can be powerful tools for managing stress and anxiety.

Rita says: Sometimes it can feel like there is precious little ‘me’ time during a divorce, especially if you have children. Meditation and yoga gives you back some quality ‘me’ time when you can be in the moment as yourself, not as a client, a parent, or a soon-to-be-ex, but just you.

 

5. Social Support

Never underestimate the power of social support. Reach out to friends, family, or join support groups. Having fun and joy is a necessity.

Rita says: Absolutely! Find people who are pragmatic and positive, empathetic and forward thinking, and trustworthy. Choose people who won’t take what you say and post it on social media or feed it back to your ex-partner…

 

6. Professional Help

Remember, it’s okay to seek professional help. Therapists or counsellors can offer valuable support and coping strategies.

Rita says: At LGFL, we are building a network of professionals who can support our clients through the life-changing process of divorce. In my experience, those who do seek professional help seem to manage stress better than those who dismiss the idea whilst struggling to cope.

 

7. Self-Compassion

Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Healing takes time, and self-compassion is key.

Rita says: Divorce is not about the past, it’s about the future for you, your children, your family and your future. But most importantly, you.

 

Do you need help with divorce?

Contact us to book your initial one-hour fixed fee consultation with us. This gives you plenty of time to discuss your situation and receive valuable legal advice, in complete confidence and with no obligation. The majority of divorcing people who come to LGFL for an initial hour of advice do decide to engage us, for a better divorce experience with less hassle and full professional support.

Call us

Email us

Book your consultation online

 

You can discover more about Kay and her work at:

www.inspirenutrition.uk

Instagram: @inspirenutritionuk

Or call her to make an appointment: 03337 729 406

Divorce is a time of rapid change and considerable upheaval, which can take a toll on our emotional state and mental health. However, it can also take a considerable toll on our physical health, with meals skipped or not eating properly due to lack of time and stress.

In this innovative joint article, the first of two, LGFL Director Rita Gupta and Kay Kaur dipNT, mBANT, mCNHC, a Registered Nutritionist & Health Coach join forces to discuss the impact divorce can have on our physical wellbeing. Drawing on their own expertise and real-world experiences, they discuss why it’s important not to underestimate the impact on your emotional health.

Kay Kaur:

As a nutritionist, I see the impact suddenly having a poor diet has on people’s ability to function at their normal mental and physical capacity. If your diet changes, it will affect your brain function, energy levels, and ultimately, your ability to manage and emerge from your divorce in a better frame of mind.

For many of us, our diet is a response to emotional state. If we are feeling upset or sad, we may well turn to “comfort eating” of food with high sugar and/or carbohydrate content. Stress can also make us feel that we don’t want to eat, and when we do, we tend to snack rather than prepare and eat a balanced diet.

Here are my top tips for spotting if your “divorce eating habits” are affecting your mood, your capacity to deal with emotions and your general mental and physical health.

1: Blood Sugar Balancing

Maintaining stable blood sugar levels is important. Erratic blood sugar can exacerbate mood swings and stress. To keep your blood sugars relatively even, aim for a diet balanced with 20-30g of proteins, plenty of fruits and vegetables, healthy fats, and complex carbs. Include healthy fats and protein for your snack options too.

Rita says: Time spent dealing with your separation, discussing your case with your legal team and any potential court hearings can affect your ability and desire to eat at your normal times.

Court hearings can be a long and tiring day for all of us. You may not feel like eating due to nerves or apprehension, but it's important not to skip breakfast. Equally, come to court prepared with water and snacks to sustain you through the day. One way to keep your blood sugar level (and a level head too!) is to pair dried fruit with some nuts as a snack, to slow down the glucose spike into your bloodstream. Just in case, at LGFL we usually bring snacks as part of our support to clients at court.

 

2. Emotional Balance

Your diet plays a crucial role in how you feel. Foods rich in nutrients like leafy greens, nuts, and seeds will boost your serotonin levels. Serotonin is the so-called happy hormone, helping to stabilise mood swings common during divorce.

Rita says: As a family lawyer, I see first-hand evidence of how mood swings can affect my clients throughout the day and night. I always encourage clients to NOT send emails in the middle of the night. This is when mood swings can adversely affect what they type or post on social media and even the quality of the instructions they give. I shall now also suggest they have a nut and seed mix next to their laptop or phone, just in case…

 

3. Hydration

Keeping yourself hydrated is essential. Dehydration can negatively impact your mood and cognitive function, which are already under strain during stressful times. Limit your tea and coffee intake: they contain caffeine and tannin which acts as a diuretic.

Also, invest in a nice colourful glass bottle or an Air-Up type bottle which gently flavours your water with no additives. Either will make it easier to keep on top of your optimum 2 litres a day.

Rita says: On a day when I’m meeting lots of clients in person, I could quickly end up drinking too much coffee or tea, which in turn could affect my ability to give balanced legal advice. So I always have a bottle of water on my desk, to sip during the meeting, helping keep my mind alert. We ensure clients have plenty of water available in any meetings.

 

4. Mindful Eating

Be mindful of your eating habits. Stress can lead to overeating or loss of appetite. Try to listen to your body's hunger cues and practice mindful eating so you do not compromise your health in turn.

Rita says: As a practitioner I can often see dramatic changes in my client’s weight due to erratic eating. Taking time away from the stress of a separation is essential and eating properly is vital for balance.

 

Considering getting divorced?

Talk to LGFL first for an empathetic approach and professional pragmatic legal advice. We offer a 1-hour reduced fee consultation to discuss your specific circumstances and concerns. We aim to give you tailored legal advice and information, so you can proceed in the best way for you, your children and your future.

- Call us

- Email us

- Book your appointment online

 

You can discover more about Kay and her work at:

www.inspirenutrition.uk

Instagram: @inspirenutritionuk

Or call her to make an appointment: 03337 729 406

As part of Mental Health Awareness week and in keeping with LGFL’s holistic approach to family law, we continue to highlight important issues facing those that are separating.

In this collaborative article with registered RTT therapist Emma Buckell, LGFL Director Rita Gupta discusses the importance of addressing the emotional elements of separation, and how Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help.

 

Support when it’s most needed

Being able to access support in these days of lockdown and the remote world of the future has never been so important. It is vital that this invaluable support isn’t too time-restrictive, and can be delivered effectively online rather than in person. We asked Emma how RTT can help in these circumstance.

“Initially, you might find your thoughts are tied up in legal proceedings or finalising financial arrangements. However, the emotional impact of untying the bond with a partner doesn’t just go away once the documents are filed. Life as you know it has changed, and you have to find your new normal. This can leave you feeling raw and vulnerable.”

Emma says that many clients have conflicting thoughts and feelings. On one hand, they are thinking they should be happy and ready for their next chapter. On the inside, however, they are wondering:

  • What happened?
  • How did I end up here?
  • This wasn't the plan…how did I get so far off course?
  • What about my kids?
  • What about the friends that we share?
  • I feel so embarrassed and ashamed
  • I’ve let myself down, I’ve let the kids down

These are the real life human emotions that arise from a family separation process and the accompanying grief many feel.

Moving onwards

So how can clients move past this? Emma advises you to think of yourself:

“One thing to remember is that all important “I”. You are living your own life whether with, or without, a significant other. So that question of “Can I get through this?” is key. The focus is now on you to take this as an opportunity to reset the beliefs you have about yourself. Then the answer to that question becomes “I can and … I am.

If you have the right tools, you can tap into your inner coping skills to be a stronger and happier person. We all have down days, and it’s crucial to shut down any detrimental self-talk during these times. RTT enables you to erase the negative pictures that you make in your head and replace them with positive statements and happy images of how you want your life to be. The more you do this, the more you'll like it and the easier it will become."

 

Thoughts, feelings actions

Marisa Peer, founder of RTT, said that “Thoughts control feelings, feelings control actions, actions control events.” So, by changing your thoughts, you can affect real-world outcomes.

Change through modern therapy

The regimented structure of some traditional psychological methods might not be for everyone, especially for people with busy lives. Just as technology has moved on in the last decade, so has society’s approach to helping people. RTT is now recognised as one of the most successful methods for bringing about permanent changes. Emma says that often only one session is needed to put you back in control of your own happiness and life choices.

“The focus of RTT is on identifying the root of the issues that are hiding in your subconscious. You might not actually realise that there are underlying issues affecting your ability to manage your emotions in challenging situations. Your self-interpretation or beliefs could be dragged down, resulting in negative thoughts. With RTT’s multi award-winning therapy, these beliefs are reframed into a positive and energised mindset.”

 

RTT and other therapies

RTT’s success lies in its foundations of the combined principles of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, NLP and CBT. RTT unlocks the subconscious and reprograms your mind so that your reactions to hurt, trauma or rejection are permanently changed for the better. RTT enables a person’s coping mechanisms for feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem to be permanently modified and replaced by a more positive approach and mindset.

 

How RTT can help family law clients

Rita Gupta believes that for many busy working clients, or those with childcare commitments, RTT can offer invaluable support when most needed. It is easily accessible too, which is important during an otherwise hectic time.

There are also other benefits too, as Rita explains:

“Obtaining therapy can actually help reduce your legal costs as you are not looking to your lawyer to counsel you through the process. It can also help you with measured decision making and focus during a process that inevitably involves high levels of emotion.”

 

Take the time

As Emma says:

“Remember, there is only strength shown in taking the time to get to the very root of your issues to generate happiness and wellbeing.”

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Emma Buckell is a registered RTT therapist and the founder of the Cleanse My Mind clinic in London.

For more information on the benefits of RTT healing, please contact emma@cleansemymind.co.uk or call the clinic on 07956 115 384.